LAGOS JUNE 13TH (URHOBOTODAY)-This particular tradition is common with Isoko and Urhobo people of Delta state. Where the adulterous ways of a wife results in the kids of the marriage falling ill, sometimes resulting to
death and this trend continues until the Husband dies too should the wife refuse to confess and perform the necessary rites to appease the gods/ancestors. This is taken seriously as you would even hear staunch Christians say “they no dey serve God reach there,you must go village go run the sacrifices”. From my investigation I realized that this is a sexist tradition as adultery by the husband has no consequences. I also got to know this is based on a particular wine drinking rite which is performed during the traditional marriage rite where these things are said.
This tradition In Delta state that forbids a woman from cheating on her husband is practiced mainly by the Aniomas, Isokos and Urhobos of Delta state,
A woman married to a man from any of these places is forbidden to have sexual intercourse with a man who is not her husband. Failure to adhere to this tradition results in severe consequences for the woman and her family as she will bring a curse upon her household.
This curse is only valid if the woman is traditionally married to a man from Anioma, Isoko or Urhobo of Delta state and her bride price duly paid. The Itsekiris as I have been informed are exempted. If her bride price has not been paid, the curse has no effect on her.
If her husband is a non-indigene of Delta and doesn’t belong to any of the communities mentioned above, the curse/tradition cannot affect her even if she cheats on her husband.
Here are some traditional facts you must know:
1). In some parts of Delta, the curse is commonly referred to as Ishi/Ishia Ishi – confession of infidelity.
2). For the curse to befall a woman who cheated, the husband must be Isoko, Urhobo or from any of the communities in Anioma – Ukwuani, Enu-Ani (Ibusa, Ogwashi-Uku, Asaba, parts of Igbodo, Ilah, Isseles, Idumujes, Onichas etc); Ika (Agbor, Umunede, Owas etc) and Aboh.
3). This custom applies only if the woman is traditionally married and her bride price paid. So, if her bride price has not been paid, nothing will happen to her if she cheats.
4). The curse only affects the husband if he is aware of the wife’s infidelity, covers up for her and continues to eat her food. If the husband is not aware of his wife’s infidelity, the curse will not affect him.
5). If the woman is married to an Isoko or Urhobo man and cheats, her children will fall sick and die. She also dies if she still refuses to confess.
6). If she’s married to a man from Anioma and cheats, her children will fall sick and die. The woman is also at the risk of losing her life. If she’s pregnant, the curse will force her to undergo cesarean operation and may die during childbirth.
7). If she survives childbirth, the child will not accept breast feeding from her but will accept from any other woman. It is at this point that the elders will start to interrogate the woman to know if she cheated on the husband.
8. If she is not breast feeding, the last child will suddenly develop illness and stop accepting food prepared by her until the child finally dies.
9). The sudden refusal of food by her child is usually a signal to the family that the woman might have cheated on the husband, and it’s at this point that the family will start investigation to ascertain the truth. If she refuses to confess, she too will fall sick and die.
10). In some cases, if the woman runs away after cheating, and moves on with another man other than her husband, the curse will force her to remain barren until she dies mysteriously, unless she returns her bride price.
11). The only one totally free from the curse is the man or men the wife cheats with.
12). If the husband is aware of the wife’s infidelity and tries to cover it up, he will be struck with swollen belly and legs.
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