Trump Takes Nigeria to the Cleaners
By Lasisi Olagunju
LAGOS AUGUST 15TH (URHOBOTODAY)-When I said the November 8 election would be rigged, Obama said my statement was ridiculous. He is dumb. What does he know about election rigging. Has he heard of Nigeria before? I mean, that is one country that has a robust history of election infractions and I have taken my time to study how they do it. I had to, especially when I know they are Obama’s second cousins. You know Nigerians and Kenyans look alike. Look at them again. They are capable of anything. So, I read them and use them as template in assessing what guys may be planning here.
Obama said it was ridiculous, that he didn’t understand what I meant. I said so, he is dumb. If he doesn’t understand anything, why can’t he read? At least I spoke with Washington Post’s Rucker last week. Brilliant fellow — although all journalists are the same — they don’t like Trump — just look at the CNN — I call that one Clinton News Network. They hate Trump. They are haters. Every minute, it is Clinton positive and Trump negative. If I have my way, I would import a Nigerian military law that says jail for journalists who embarrass public figures. Or I simply close down their television stations and newspapers. Anyway, they are even dying. Twitter is killing them every minute. And I am the master there. I tweet away their lies. But they don’t know. What really do they know? They are too inebriated in their anti- Trump project to notice that it is getting dark in their world.
Yes. Obama should have read my Post interview. I exposed their rigging plans. Or, maybe, he is pretending. Anyway, whatever – I explained to the Post that the voter ID situation has turned out to be a very unfair development. I said we may have people vote 10 times. Listen to what I said: It’s inconceivable that you don’t have to show identification in order to vote or that that the identification doesn’t have to be somewhat foolproof. I mean, I wouldn’t be surprised if the election is rigged. There’s a lot of dirty pool played at the election, meaning the election is rigged. they’re fighting as hard as you can fight so that that they don’t have to show voter ID. So, what’s the purpose of that? How many times is a person going to vote during the day? If you don’t have voter ID .?.?. Multiple times. How about like 10 times. Why not? If you don’t have voter ID, you can just keep voting and voting and voting.
That is what I said in the Washington Post interview and a lot of haters think I don’t know what I am saying. Look, I said I have studied all scenarios. You want to know if I sent investigators to Nigeria as I claimed I did with Hawaii in April 2011? You remember that episode? They were jittery then because I was going to burst their birther lie. And why didn’t I? That is not a story for today. Was I in Nigeria? The Nigerians are fantastic people. In that country, if you have enough money, you can hijack any of their political parties and buy or shoot your way to power. It does not matter whether you gave or have any clue or not. Money and bullets do it in that country. Yes, I took the Republican Party from the bosses. But I didn’t shoot anyone. I didn’t steal it. I mean, I just took it. They were dumb. They are still dumb. I gave them enough notice.
Back to my Washington Post interview. I chose my words in that interview from the Nigerian political lexicon. Rigging; Multiple voting; Voter ID – they actually call that one PVC — Permanent Voter Card. Even Nigerians, crooked as Hillary, now give what they call PVC to voters and they pretend showing it at their elections. And, has that helped them? They still vote and vote and vote. And there is no standard – children vote there and no one complains — including the unfair media- since they do pre-election agreement with everyone on who should be made winner. Ridiculous. That is what I won’t take here. Imagine what I saw at the beginning of this business – in Louisiana and Colorado. The more votes I won in those states, the fewer the delegates. Crooks! I stopped them. As I told the Post, I am now accustomed to the world of politics and I will continue to run them off the stage. They ain’t seen nothing yet.
Someone said in Nigeria that when a politician raises the kind of rigging alarm like the one I raised, all eyes shift to that person. He is the one planning to rig. Crooked people. Are they related also to Hillary? Why should the whistle blower be the criminal? Anyway, I did not become a billionaire by being dumb. Their American brother will soon find out.
And, you know what, there are so many similarities between what they do in Nigeria and what I see in our country. Last month, they said a former minister was caught on camera loading millions of dollars into a chartered plane to bribe some officials and voters in a state in Nigeria. And just on Wednesday, I told a rally that “I woke up and I saw 400 million dollars … being flown to Iran,” And I shouted: “Folks, what’s going on here? What’s going on?” Imagine, I watched that tape, I called it a perfect tape of the people taking the money off the plane. So, what do you call that? Nigerianisation of America! They load in Nigeria, we offload in Iran. I won’t take that. We must make America great again.
Liars. They said I lie all the time and explain it all away with a tweet. Do I lie? Look. I say what I think. One hater even said I am worse than a liar. He called me a bullshit artist, enemy of truth. That means what? Someone who is crazy, someone who can’t identify reality at all. They don’t know anything. If they want bullshit artists, they should go to Nigeria. There, there is even no reality to connect with. Everything is unreal. The cleaner, the dirtier. Biggest economy in Africa, worst case of suffering. That is why I am shouting. We must save America. There won’t be a third term for Obama through Hillary.
They also said people fight at my campaigns; why can’t they just wake up and read me well. I said I use the Nigerian template. And, there has been no major casualty with me. My people only punch the faces of trouble makers. My haters should go to Nigeria. They shoot guns there — worse than Orlando. They also say I get back at people, that I do not turn the other cheek. Is politics some sort of soul-winning evangelism? I don’t want to lose my hearing. I may be a good student of Nigerian politics, but I am not a Nigerian who does not care if he goes deaf. If there is anything I cherish, it is my ears. Super functioning just like my mouth. That was why I properly heard and gave it back to those Muslims- Khans or what is their name? Imagine, that man abused me on Hillary’s stage and I abused him back on my own stage and the unfair press said I was wrong. How unfair! If it were in Nigeria, someone would be nursing some real, raw wounds now.
What if I tell you the above is an imagined outburst from Trump? It, actually, is.
Lasisi Olagunji writes for Tribune Newspaper